I am no longer waking up at 4:00 in the morning, worrying about paperwork, clients and children at risk, or how much laundry is piling up downstairs. I am not waking up at 6:00 in the morning on weekends out of a feeling of obligation, worried that I won't get everything done. I am not bringing paperwork home with me (although that might be temporary and due to a lull in my caseload.)
I have responded to my first crisis call in the ER with this job. I had backup. I had a beautifully understanding ER doc and ER nurse. I was paid appropriately for this wee-hours-of-the-morning-overtime.
And so now, in the past couple of weeks, I have noticed my attention starting to focus on non work related items. I read a book. For fun. For fun, I read a book. It had nothing to do with kids in distress, abuse or trauma. It was lovely. Shoes and I harvested a healthy crop of green beans and sat around the kitchen, munching on their crisp, earthy goodness, talking about how chunky Rosie is getting. We have taken Rosie the Retriever swimming many times (as I no longer have to worry about being within cell phone range and, let's be honest, anything 5 minutes outside of town falls out of cell phone range.)
I signed up for yoga again. And started exercising again. And finally scheduled a facial for which I'd been given a gift card for AGES ago.
Also, we're going to Italy (I'm still good at non sequiturs, huh?), and it is one very lovely thing to look forward to and plan. Shoes' mom had 90 bajillion airline miles that had to be used; we're all going together. This plan came together very quickly (so quickly it made me nervous - this planner likes to move slowly) and in a week we've booked the tickets, arranged for time off, applied for passports and arranged for Rosie's house-sitter (my MOM - who offered to come up from Central Oregon!).
I've also downloaded basic language learning software and have been plugging away nightly. I'm not sure how useful knowing the plural forms for feminine and masculine nouns will be when I'm trying to order a glass of wine (unless I'm ordering several glasses of wine?), but it's fascinating none the less.
Today, I'm not sure what's on the docket. Cleaning up the Rosie hair from the hardwood, no doubt. Maybe building the compost bin. The argula needs to be weeded as well. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just watch movies all day. I'm starting to feel like *I'm* finally in charge of my time off.