tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post2041963606188391381..comments2023-08-17T01:42:26.718-07:00Comments on understanding (n.): " ... it will always be like this ...Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04326454493728489973noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post-1749241048259514422011-04-15T19:14:04.865-07:002011-04-15T19:14:04.865-07:00I am just getting to your blog as I too am in grad...I am just getting to your blog as I too am in grad school in a highly competative field that works with chidren and elderly (and in between). I share this with you as well (am a couple years older) though I love children, I am more than alright not having any. I am happy and children will not define/complete me! Society/family are more unhappy about this than I. I will treat many children as a Speech-Language Pathologist and will love it. God's purpose is different for all and mine was to touch and be touched by these little guys in treatment. Thank you for this post as it spoke for all us in the same situation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post-6665518463426581222011-04-04T19:53:00.577-07:002011-04-04T19:53:00.577-07:00@Sarah - I remember when you were pregnant with Q,...@Sarah - I remember when you were pregnant with Q, and I remember thinking what fantastic parents you and E. were going to be to him - because you both just seemed to go into the whole thing ready and prepared (as ready and prepared as one can be?). And you two are truly spectacular parents. I mean that. I completely agree that the conundrum of both parents having to work to make a living wage is puzzling. Also puzzling, our lack of maternity leave benefits. Big sigh.<br /><br />@Veronica - WOW. That teacher *really* knew what she was talking about (yikes). :S People's ideas about what makes children and families functional / non functional families just blow me away ... Lauren had the extreme benefit of having a thoughtful, loving, intelligent mother - with or without siblings, that's 80% of the battle right there. And kudos to you for raising a daughter who knows herself well enough to be able to say, "I'm not sure kids are in my future"!<br /><br />@Susan - It feels like a pickle to me sometimes. I love kids, and I don't have them right now, and I'm ok with that ... so that makes me a different breed, somehow. Well. Sister Suffragette! ;) Thanks for stopping by!Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04326454493728489973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post-46455325965496057352011-04-04T07:26:19.536-07:002011-04-04T07:26:19.536-07:00I sooo hear you on this. I am almost 41, with man...I sooo hear you on this. I am almost 41, with many of the same experiences/issues with the timing of life's events and the absence of children in my marriage. Your eloquent expression of the situation and feelings that many of us experience was a pleasure to read, Lisa. You are a remarkable lady. May every blessing be yours!SUSANhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01830900655516717369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post-7268860219582029942011-04-04T05:57:36.107-07:002011-04-04T05:57:36.107-07:00Second to not having children is having only one c...Second to not having children is having only one child. One of my daughter's 7th grade teachers told me that all of Lauren's "problems" stemmed from her being an only child. So, I adopted two cats. Lauren has since gone to college and I still have the cats. And may I say, she announced a long time ago that she didn't see herself having children. She was afraid I'd be disappointed. I said, "Why would I be disappointed? I had the baby I wanted. You having/not having children is about YOUR life, not mine." <br /><br />This is an excellent post and your writing is superb. Clear, concise and intelligent, it is a pleasure to read.Veronicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01205185967764213645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082912816664794283.post-72544492814590181692011-04-03T08:55:19.084-07:002011-04-03T08:55:19.084-07:00Amen. Although I AM a mother, I was already 38 wh...Amen. Although I AM a mother, I was already 38 when my little bundle came about. I understand all your points and agree with them. I'm not sure why our society persists in this focus on parenting and procreating - there is simply no longer a survivial imperative for it, but we keep acting like there is. <br /><br />The reality is that having children is not a door to a life filled with joy and sunshine. Indeed, it brings with it a sacrifice of your own personal choices and options and a considerable amount of time spent making decisions where you, as a woman, often end up compromising. It has rewards, no doubt, but in a society that proclaims to love the family, support for those families does not exist (i.e. now it takes two decent incomes to be able to do what our parents did on one.<br /><br />I hear you, Lisa. Nurturing does not have to be defined only in the parenting role. You've always been that, and you always will. Where this gets expressed is entirely up to you and more than okay.Sarahnoreply@blogger.com