On a Sunday in NW Portland.
but still. it's stunning.
also. i have more to do in the next two weeks than i have had since i have been in this graduate program.
the workload is staggering.
and, we're moving shoes this week from the vineyard town to pullman.
with that, i'm gracefully signing off until about the first week of march.
(i keep telling myself the end is near, i'm almost done, the end is near, i'm almost done, the end is near... )
that makes sense. now that i think about it, it sounds absolutely terrible. i mean, terrible. and i certainly don't think it's for everybody.
the first time i tried it (shoes and i are sharing P90-X), i made it halfway through and then very distinctly remember a 5 minute period in the bathroom when i was sure, absolutely confident, i was going to lose my cookies.
it was that bad.
i didn't lose my cookies, though, and kept on alternating running with plyo. this sunday evening after working out, i pinched the side of my hip in my absolutely scientific way of seeing how much fat i've lost and noticed it wasn't nearly as much as before. somebody came in the dead of night and stole my belly fat away.
i mean, i don't want it back, so it can stay gone, but i was absolutely shocked that a good diet and regular exercise helped. what can i say? i'm a hard sell. i remember when i got hired on at the juvenile detention center and we had a physical test and corrections academy to attend. the first time i hit the track i thought i was going to die. (as we all know, that story turned out ok and it turns out i am very good at a figure 4 takedown.) i've never been a sports minded person, never played sports, never been athletic, had no idea what i was doing.
STILL have no idea what i'm doing.
one of my favorite counseling questions to ask people is, "how did you know how to do that?" or "how did you know you could do that?" i think about that now. how did i know i could stick with it?
here's my answer: i didn't know. i had no idea. but i think about some of the women in my life i know (Sarah, Rebecca, Kathleen, Jenny, Rikki) who decided that they were going to get healthy and then they got healthy. and i remember thinking about how gracious they were about their progress and how they weren't preachy and they just had fun and LOVED their bodies as their bodies LOVED them back. they just ... started moving.
ladies, that was a very powerful message.
there are some things i really like about my changing body. i love that i can wear a favorite old blue dress again. i love that i can see a muscle forming on the inside of my thigh i've never seen before (i don't even know what it's called!) love that i can race up the stairs to the 6th floor of the parking garage i usually use on campus. love that my shoulders are gaining shape.
loves, i know busy. i work 16-20 hours at the hospital, spend 20-25 hours at my internship, spend 6 hours a week in classes, spend an ungodly amount of time in the car, and have more reading, research and writing than i know what to do with. i'm also planning a wedding. and my partner lives 4 hours away, leading to lots of travel time. simply put, i don't have time for the gym. and i had to get over that. i also have a studio apartment. some of the things i do to work out might better be considered acrobatics or gymnastics in this little space, but it seems to be getting the job done.
it feels good to move. it feels good to have energy. it feels good to sleep well at night. it feels good to have the positive effects of exercise counter my rather impressive innate ability to worry and be anxious. (my dear friend B. said on Saturday - and i completely concur!! - that my GAF would never be above an 80 for all the worrying i do!). it just feels good to be able to do something new.
i'm registering for classes tomorrow.
that's not a non sequitur.
i only have one more class to take for my master's. hallelujah & praise the lord. but i need to be at 9 credit hours, so i'm also registering for a cardio kickboxing class. i don't really know what that is, and part of me is absolutely terrified i'm going to look like a complete fool. the other part of me is ok with that, because i know something now i didn't know too well before:
we all start somewhere. and it starts by getting up and taking the first step.
so class participants: apologies if i fall on you. or fall on myself. or trip. or accidentally kick you (it is a kickboxing class after all, and this clumsy girl can make no guarantee about where her foot is going to land.) i may be the worst kickboxer there ever was.
but nobody's going to smile through the class like i can. this girl's got to move.
i have some resources that inspire me.
i like Oxygen magazine, great food ideas, but who am i kidding? i also like to look at their fitness models. here's the thing though, there's a looooooot of crazy things that go into photo shoots (full disclosure) and i actually don't aspire to look like them. that's not reasonable for me. with my schedule, that type of weight training is also not even remotely in the cards for me. but sometimes they have fitness flash ideas or new ideas for what i can do with my free weights. that's pretty helpful.
i also like Fitness magazine. it's nowhere near as intense as Oxygen and usually has articles about how to get up (for the first time) and keep moving. in the last issue, i found a helpful url that lead to a pdf re: how to start training for a half marathon ... for people who haven't run before. i also just saw on their website they have an article about getting up and start walking.
and this website is also pretty helpful for me: pfitblog.com. it's just motivating. and i love that they're real people. and i'm talking real: i usually find a few typos in their posts. (it just makes you human, pfeisters, and i really love that.)
so.
cheers to moving. to eating healthy food. to living well.
Portland is extremely sustainable, it's true.
But drinking reclaimed city water from the top of this post? I don't know if I know anybody who cares about sustainability that much.
halfway through this term and i've hit another wall.
i had to clear my calendar, not see clients at the community outpatient mental health clinic, and give the anxiety a chance to loosen its grip on my brain. it was a little hard not to go in yesterday, but, i know i do good work. and i needed a chance to trim some of my fraying ends.
i like numbers 1 and 2 the best. {i didn't get to number 7!}
i did, however, get to number 5. and that is because Sister Cheryl, B., and i traveled to NW portland to spend a lovely, cozy, late winter evening picking out invitations for the wedding. (the wedding website tells me there are 184 more days.)
{psst. i chose the one on the right.}
o, ladies, what a huge help you were. thanks for going over envelope and lining and font decisions with me. and thanks, elizabeth, for weighing in by text!
it's back to community outpatient mental health for me today. a full day of meetings and clients await. but i'm a little more rested and a little more prepared to join with families in therapy.
{the weekend will be focused on the Bowen paper. and the readings on mood disorders. oy.}
We had much to accomplish.
Dinner at Bluehour.
Exploring in NW.
Dinner with Vineyard Town friends.
And wedding planning.
Lisa: "For the invitations, should we say, "request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage" or "invite you to celebrate in their joy when they exchange marriage vows"?
Shoes: "Yep."
Lisa: "Reception to immediately follow" or "Merriment to follow"?
Shoes: "Yep."
Lisa: "Accepts/Regrets" or "Can't wait/Can't make it"?
Shoes: "Yep."
Lisa: "Can I just make this decision?"
Shoes: "You sure can."
Taking my sweet friend, B., and Sister Cheryl to a stationer on Thursday, where we will surround ourselves with girl power to get this part taken care of once and for all.
Yep.
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