is everything.

Three truths before my story:

1. I understand that it's not a big deal (except, of course, that it is).
2. I get the irony of the concern vs. the concerns of my clients I'm supposed to be addressing.
3. It's always been this way. And. It will always be this way.

I chose to go to grad school and pay out of state tuition.
I chose to leave my decent job with the county and my cushy (hmph!) supervisory position for the life of a student.
Choices, choices.
Choices I take very seriously.
And I'm a school dork.
Which has translated into an obsessive need to do all of my grad school work with the utmost care and attention to detail.
It's served me well.

I've had a 100% so far in the program. Right. That's not just a solid 'A' average, 4.0 gpa. That really is a 100%.

Until now.
Oh, how I knew it would hurt, the day I would lose my first point.
It was only one.
But such a vicious one.
I'm wounded.

And receiving no sympathy. Shoes said, "Yeah, well. Happens to all of us. That 99% must really hurt. Obviously, you're not so smart."

My dear girlfriend said, "Yeah. I'm not discussing that with you. You're just going to have to get over it."

So I get it. I get all of it. Especially the part where this is seriously bothering me, but I'm learning how to work with clients with serious, serious life issues that delve so much more deeply than a missing point.

I understand.

Truly.

But still. That's a hard point to let go.

5 comments

  1. Elizabeth on January 20, 2010 at 9:47 PM

    Oh Isa...how I wish I could say something here to make you feel better. But I can't because I don't know what its like to be in your position. So as my daughter would say...Isa in the baf...translation Lisa should go have a nice long bath and try to think about anything but school. I love you!!

     
  2. Kylee on January 20, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    I laughed at this post, you are so funny. And I understand how you feel,I felt that way in my teaching program when I lost my first point. I am still alive though and still teaching :)

     
  3. Ronna on January 21, 2010 at 8:11 AM

    You are my soul mate. That is all I am going to say. :)

     
  4. Anonymous on January 22, 2010 at 12:33 AM

    Oh Lisa... I totally understand where you came from. I remember that one A- I got in School Law... it was a summer cram class... and my final grade was an A-... I went to talk to the teacher and she really couldn't tell my why it was that grade either... that burned... really burned. I think I graduated with a 3.98 for my Masters because of that one class. Now I laugh... no one has ever asked me gpa... but, then it was tragedy... HUGS. Wen

     
  5. Sarah's Blog on January 22, 2010 at 9:52 AM

    *snicker*

    I am not laughing at you, I am laughing WITH you 10 years from now.
    LOVE YOU!

     


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