2nd Set of Solo Holidays.

Compared to last year, there is no comparison.

I’ve got your answers, in the palm of my hand and they come, this year, a little easier from the heart.

What do you do?

I’m a social worker for the county. I co-supervise a program that advocates for foster care children.

I could never do what you do.

Sure. But you know what? I’d make a lousy farmer.

How long have you been here {in this vineyard town}?

Three years. I lived in {the little mountain town} for 10 years before.

What brought you up here?

I was married at the time and we followed his job. I’m solo now.

{This has to be followed by a smile to assure the other person it’s really, really ok.}

Right there. I’ve got your answers right there.

At this point, sure. I’d always expected a large family of my own and at 30, thought for sure it’d be MY turn to host the moms and the dads and the brothers and the sisters and the nephews and the nieces. I’d always pictured too much food. A kids’ table. Raucous laughter. Things are always slightly out of control when this clan gets together. And oddly enough, I thrive on that part that you just can’t control. I adore it when my brother in law says things he absolutely shouldn’t and his sons overhear it and repeat the phrases all night long. I adore it when I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what my sister is trying to act out during Cranium and it turns into a screeching fest. I love it that my darling, cowboy family has to deep fry their turkey. We’re lucky to beat the chaos and change out of our sweats for dinner.

I’d just been waiting to add to it with my own tribe.

But here I am. 30. This year’s Thanksgiving brought a whole new set of friends here in this vineyard town without any of my family present. At this Thanksgiving, there was a beautifully decorated, shimmering Thanksgiving table that no real child could have ever been sat at. Deep fried turkey was replaced with an expertly basted, roasted to perfection bird accompanied by side dishes such as brussel sprouts au gratin. {My nephews not only won’t touch brussel sprouts, they will tell you where you can put those brussel sprouts. We thank my brother in law for that.}

This year’s Thanksgiving, we drank bottles of good wine. None of us would have dreamed of wearing our sweats.

It’s not what I expected. I couldn’t have imagined it any other way.

Two truths.

I did get my little taste of things being out of control. These friends and their family I was eating with have been sharing Thanksgiving together for years. They were so gracious and welcoming to me, and I loved being part of their own inner circle. This is an inner circle ruled by a beautiful, stately matriarch. A great grandmother. She had a stroke 12 years ago and requires lots of extra TLC, but oh, how her family honors her. She is truly lovely and although largely non verbal now, she truly loved her holiday company.

Her daughter was our host, and as we were all seated, she (the daughter) started to read a quote about honoring ourselves and the gift God has placed deep within us. It was a truly amazing quote. I think.

It was at that moment the Queen Bee decided to start singing, loudly {at the top of her voice loudly} “DEE BO DEE DAH BO DO DO DO …”.

We’re still not quite sure why, but then she grinned from ear to ear and said, “All right, all right, all right.”

Daughter took a second stab at it and was interrupted again with, “DEE BO DEE DAH DO DO DO. All right, all right, all right.”

She never did get the quote out, and the next time Queen Bee started singing, we all joined in with her. Loudly. At the top of our voices.

So for right now, at this stage in my life, I’ll take the fancy, adult dinners in which we don’t dare go without at least a couple of bottles of white and red. Just as long as it’s accompanied by this total love. And raucous laughter.


  1. Fairlightday on December 3, 2008 at 4:18 AM

    Isn't it amazing where God leads us?
    Even though this is not where you had planned t be, it still sounds like an amazing Thanksgiving.
    Thinking of you Lisa and sending you all my love!

  2. Anonymous on December 12, 2008 at 8:08 AM

    Your Thanksgiving sounds like a gas! We went from a dinner for five to a dinner for 10 (and the baby, lol--she didn't eat much tho'.

    Isn't it amazing how God's plans for us so seldom match up with our own? And yet, when we stand back and look at His work in our lives, we can see His hands moving in the warp and weave of the rich and varied tapastries of our lives, and we have to conceed our wills to His wisdom.

    It amazes me that God holds the key to all of creation in His mind and yet not only cares for each of us,His wayward little mud-children, but holds within His awareness the fate of each sparrow that falls from the sky,and each blade of grass that grows in the field. How awesome is the Lord!

  3. Jorge on December 12, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    How wonderful that you had a chance to partake of this great experience! I was working the holiday, but had a chance to have a late meal with good friends, Wishing you and yours a merry Christmas,


Post a Comment