Lucky for me, Shoes thought the This that is Us was worth it. He has come through in a million different ways, been ever faithful in calling, texting and visiting. (Spell check, by the way, does not recognize "texting".)
It's been a year and a few months for us. We were reluctant daters at first, and it had nothing to do with our feelings for each other. It had more to do with: Is this ok? I'm attracted, but is this the right person? I'm leaving for grad school, and I'll continue to do so, so where does that leave us? I'm not really in a hurry to get super serious about someone; last time I did that, it didn't turn out so well. Shoes has had his fare share of serious relationship mishaps. We're almost 32. It happens.
We joke now that it would have been easy for Us to have never have happened. But it did. And now we cautiously use code words for the future. As in, will I be returning to the Vineyard town after school? Is there somewhere else that would be a better fit ... for both of us?
I will not be returning - there is no reason for me to. Shoes has taken a job in his super serious field in a different county, waaaaaay up north in Almost Canada. It's a good fit for him. I'm excited to see how his career develops.
Selfishly, it is a good fit for me. I've loved Almost Canada since I was in junior high school. Just the thought of visiting up there in that breathtaking country is enough to make me giddy.
Shoes has 2 more weeks to wrap up his time in the Vineyard Town. He's looking at rentals, but he's also looking at houses. He says to me quietly and very unassumingly, "I know you don't want to come back here. And I'm doing this for me. But. I'm also doing this for us."
This self sacrifice, maturity, generosity? I'm not sure what to do with it.
But I'll take it.