Shoes and I have decided it's time for some sort of kid to  live in our house.  Actually, we decided this awhile ago, but with the old job, the changes this year, etc., it's only been in the past few months we've really been able to focus in on what this means.

Good Lord, what does this mean??

Well.  Honestly.  We're not really sure.  As of right now, we're going about this natural way, but when you're 36, the natural way reveals things about an aging female body.  Sometimes it reveals things that are slightly worrisome and come with all sorts of connotations.  In our case, we're still optimistic that things can be leveled out, and with the force of several supplements, we're moving forward.  (Many, many thanks to my dear friend B., who has termed this season in my life "reproductive misadventures."   I love that.  It makes it workable.  To me, that might mean that I read the map upside down and my luggage got lost in baggage claim, but there's still hope I can hitchhike back to down and the airline will contact me at some point.)

But there's still that question if it will work, right?  On top of the question, Shoes and I have always held adoption closely to our hearts.   We almost started the adoption process before trying to have our own; we've both had personal circumstances and jobs in which we've seen the ardent need for children to be placed with families who are in it for the long haul.

We're in it for the long haul.

Fostering, however, we're not interested in.  I realize that might sound calloused, but in this very, very small rural town, I would prefer to not have my community partners coming by my home at a moment's notice for 30 day face to face checks.  There's too much togetherness there, and I am far too opinionated.  Sometimes I agree with the Children's Administration.  Sometimes I bluntly and unapologetically don't.  But I have to have weekly meetings with those folks.  Shoes and I have agreed this is better left alone, for the sake of working relationships.

Kids.  We think we know what that means.  I think I know what that means.  Deep down, we know we have no idea what this means.  And we're ready for that, you know?  We had to come to a place where we were able to look that question dead in the eye and answer quietly, I don't know, but we stand in a place of faith and quiet confidence.

Also, when you get ready to have a family?  Holy moly, the free advice starts flowing like thick molasses.  I have heard Everything.  EVERY magic trick that GUARANTEES success.  And while I receive the advice in love (because I choose to believe that that was the spirit from which it was intended ...  MOST of the time), it becomes very overwhelming very quickly if left unchecked.

But don't worry, I'm checking it.  And letting go of worry.  And putting aside My Ultimate Plan.  One way or the other, it will happen, and Shoes and I will grow our family.  Rosie will have a human sibling.  We'll take family vacations to cheesy resorts.  We'll stay up all night with sick kids.  All of it.  

All the Everythings.


  1. Andrea on September 3, 2014 at 8:51 AM

    This is exciting! And sometimes nerve wracking and certainly misadventure-full. I totally get that.

    The advice - oh the advice! I usually laugh about it privately and try not to take it too seriously - you can really drive yourself crazy trying to do everything 'right' - from diet, to exercise to well.. everything. The funny stories you can share with people going through similar experiences are pretty priceless.

    I offer to offer no advice and be a listening ear should you need one. :) Faith and confidence are the best companions on the journey.

  2. Lisa on September 6, 2014 at 8:47 AM

    Thanks, Andrea. Ha! I would love to swap stories with you, and laugh, and sigh, and hold on to hope with you as well. :)

  3. Anonymous on September 13, 2014 at 4:40 PM

    Have you tried [insert ridiculous idea here] position?! ;) Those were my least favorite inquires when embarking upon our reproductive misadventures. How do you even answer that?
    I wish you and Shoes all the best in this process. You two are going to be such lovely, connected parents. I'm excited to meet your little one, when and however they come to be a part of your family.

  4. Lisa on September 15, 2014 at 7:18 PM

    So awkward! I don't even tell Shoes when others try to make that conversation happen - it makes his blood boil.

  5. AandW Drive-Thru on September 20, 2014 at 6:47 AM

    Oh Lisa... this post makes me smile ear to ear. No advice... but if you ever need to chat in the middle of the night, I am often up! ;) Hugs and Prayers for the process to be quick.


Post a Comment