... now.

That would be a big, long breath I've been holding all day long. Dependency court was a tense, odd thing today. Crazy twists and turns. Upset judges. I'm so glad it's over. {This is one of the things I miss most about being married ~ having someone to come home to and debrief with, even if we don't talk specifics.}

But I'm home, now, with a long, luxurious evening stretched out before me. Even my toes are starting to relax! No waiting tables, no long hours at job #1, no plans to hang out with any dear friends. Nothing, nada, zip. I get to cook a decent meal, catch up on some reading and may even get to some writing tonight too. What will I DO with all my time?

What I maybe / perhaps / there's a chance / sounds like a good idea to me / is do some work on my graduate school application essay. That's right. I think I've finally made a decision. For the past several months, there have been many valid, perfectly good options colliding in my head, each one trying to knock the others out. Many of you will remember that a year and a half ago I had passed all my Oregon Teaching Licensure tests because I had planned to go back and get a Masters in Teaching. That was a GREAT plan. I was married to an educator, I LOVE reading and writing and helping students read and write, and we had BIG plans to move overseas and teach English. A good plan, indeed.

Only ... it didn't work out. And ... after the divorce, the public school system left a sour taste in my mouth. {Good reasons for this.} Only, the darling graduate school wouldn't pull my admission. They've continued to extend my enrollment, and I've continued to let them. Wouldn't want to throw the option away until I was sure of what I wanted to do ...

... and it's been a difficult decision! That first year after the divorce, I had NO idea what I wanted to do. I thought again about teaching, I thought about massage therapy school, I thought about changing jobs, I thought about going to school at Bethel in Redding, California. I had a LOT of ideas with NO direction. But it was so exciting when God released me to start DREAMING about these things again ... I really had to get it in my heart and soul that He does, in fact, have a most perfect plan for me and that it is VERY good and in it I am VERY happy.

This, my friends, as you well know, is easy to get in your head, and very hard to believe for yourself.

But after much praying and thinking and talking to the dear lady from my church who's been helping me {ok, ok. I'm seeing a professional counselor and have been since July 07 ...), I've narrowed it down.

This winter I'll be applying to a Master in Social Work program with an emphasis in Mental Health. In the next state down. At the ONLY school in the state that has an accredited program. Leave it to me to make things hard on myself ... they get 500 applications every year and accept 150.

Wow.

Hopefully with 8 {8! Am I really that old?!} years of experience and FANTASTIC letters of reference, I'll have a window of opportunity.

I'll tell you what, though. I'm so ready to work with kiddos on a therapeautic level rather than a systems advocacy level. I have this need, you see, to really get into their minds and hearts. If they let me, of course.

You know what else?

I'm planning to do this school and this move (acceptance pending, of course) ... with no plan for a job or an immediate place to live. This is SO taking a chance for me. It's an entirely new way of thinking, in fact. School first and then piece work together as it comes. For me, that's faith.
I'm a budgets and numbers person.

But I'm just not worried.

But I do want to take FULL advantage of this lovely night that's beckoning me, so I'll leave it at that. ;)

5 comments

  1. Ronna on October 9, 2008 at 6:50 PM

    I just want you to know....

    That I am so proud of you for this decision. It feels like the right one. The other option we discussed, the one that would have brought you closer to me, never really quite sat well with me. I don't know why. But this, this feels like YOU. I know that God is leading you gently down the road towards his bigger vision for your future. Giving you little peeks at it. And all the while teaching you to let go a little at a time.

    You are teaching me this too.

    I love ya girl. Heart and soul.

    ~Ronna

     
  2. Fairlightday on October 10, 2008 at 8:05 AM

    I'm so happy for you! And proud too. You are taking such a big step, a good one, but big. Oh, I'm excited for you. To see what God has in-store next for you, to see where He leads you, and what wonderful things He has waiting. A future plan, plans to prosper and give you hope. Yay! I can't wait to hear more.

     
  3. Sarah on October 10, 2008 at 5:11 PM

    Lisa!! I'm so glad you came by our blog and left a message! I am so excited for you to go to school and take what is an amazing talent for connecting with people into that field. What school are you planning on? We live in Clackamas now, so if you need a place to rest on your travels....

     
  4. Elizabeth on October 10, 2008 at 9:14 PM

    I'm so happy that you've got a dream and your going for it. We are not that far from such school and we do have extra bed if you ever need it. The room comes with someone special, but I don't thinks she would mind sharing. I love you and have always supported you and will continue to do so. Let us know if there is ever anything you need. Hugs to you!

     
  5. Jorge on October 12, 2008 at 2:50 PM

    I wish you the best of luck. I'm a firm believer in luck coming to those who prepare themselves for its arrival. You can never go wrong getting more education, for what you know is about the only thing someone else cannot take away from you. Be well,
    J.

     


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