when i'm happy.
when i'm mad.
when i'm disappointed.
when i'm grieving.
when something is tender.
when something is unjust.

i've cried when i'm hungry.

shoes and i once unexpectedly found ourselves in an immigration rally.  something about the swell of the people and the beauty of their humanness and my intense, surging desire to join when them.  shoes whispered, "you have to quit crying.  they're going to think you don't support them."  so then i tried to smile, but i was still weeping and then i just looked ... unwell.

in supervision the other day, my individual clinical supervisor smiled gently and said softly, "i hope you send me a picture of you on your wedding day."  i cried.

i went to the student bookstore to pick up my cap, gown and master's hood and when the guy handed them over, i felt the all too familiar rush of heat in my face and my eyes and my chest started  moving up and down  rapidly.  i was trying to keep it in -- and i mean really, really trying -- but i just looked like i was having a panic attack.

i cannot believe i only have 5 weeks of classes left.
i cannot believe how tired i am.
i cannot believe how right this life decision was for me.
i cannot believe what a different place i am in my life as opposed to 5 years ago.  5 years?  5 years.
blessed be.

1 Comment

  1. Andrea on May 6, 2012 at 10:40 PM

    sweet moments... :)

    and yay for just 5 weeks left - (well, 4 now) - you are almost there!!

     


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