and then you're straddling a line, with half of you in and half of you out.  {family of origin posts are coming, but those take time ...}

today at the grocery store, the clerk asked me if i was going to school and i found myself saying, "i'm finishing my master's at portland state."  i never consciously made a decision to start saying "finishing".  it just came out, and appropriately so.  i only have one more academic class to take to call it a degree.  he said, "good luck."

and i walked away and promptly started (softly) crying.  not because it's sad.  not because i'm deliriously happy.  but because i'm so overwhelmed by the half in, half out life i'm living right now.  i've made some significant changes for next term: no more saturdays working at the lab;  only one more academic class;  no more helping lead the parent support group i've been leading;  in about six weeks, the job search will begin;  packing up the apartment into boxes will begin;  intense work on the wedding will begin.

half in class, half out.
half planning the wedding, half not.
half living in portland, but half of my brain is thinking about what it's like to live in pullman.

you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about.
{i definitely feel turned about.}
that's what it's all about.


Post a Comment