understanding (n.)

Presently, I am in the library right before I need to leave for my Restorative Yoga class (the last one of the year).  My mind and heart and spirit are swirling with everything that's going on right now and I'm really feeling the need to sit and be and start to process through what all of the endings and transitions mean (Note to Self:  Put that in the Planner).  I had my last Graduate class yesterday afternoon, pot luck style, and as I sat around my practice instructor's living room with a group of therapists I have truly come to love, it began to hit me what a loss this is going to be.

An exciting loss.  A loss filled with promise.  A loss none-the-less.

I have one more presentation to give at my clinical placement on Tuesday and, man.  Can I just tell you there is anything else that I would rather do?   Mom, do you need the pig barn cleaned out?  I'm totally willing to do it.  Tuesday at 10:00 am, especially.    I'm presenting on the proposed changes in the DSM V (which is scheduled for publication apparently never ...) to the Dx of PTSD - especially as it relates to children - as well as current Evidence Based Practices and Practice Based Programs.  This weekend will be filled polishing it up.

And because it's also celebration season, I will also be spending the weekend at the Zoo with my goddaughter and her parents for her birthday and at a little "Education Transition Party" for the lab.  Seems like most of us are either graduating, have obtained doctoral internships or have just been accepted into Ph.D. programs.  I'm proud of all of us.

With that, I'm also holding the fact that my wedding to my amazing, charming, witty and loving Shoes is about 2 1/2 months away.  I cannot believe we planned a wedding in the midst of all the other crazy, and planned it long-distance, at that.  I cannot believe in just 2 weeks, Shoes and I will end the long-portion element of our relationship.  We have been committed to each other and this relationship for almost 3 years, separated by at least 4 hours.

I kind of hope we do not drive each other crazy once we live in the same town.

I kind of think it will be ok.  This is the same man who admitted to me, on the phone last night, that sometimes, when he has fancy attorney lunches at the golf course, he peeks into the event space (our venue) because he can't wait for our wedding day.  I wanted to hug him when he said that.  But I couldn't.  Because he's 6 hours away.

A lot to hold right now.  A lot to be excited about.  A lot to be slightly worried about.   A lot to not know what to think about.

And that's ok.  It has to be.  Because right now, that's how it is.

1 Comment

1. Andrea on June 8, 2012 at 4:44 PM

   All the best on your presentation and have fun at the zoo!! (it is always such a cheerful little place, and ever-so-fun with little people...)