understanding (n.)

So this is late.  Yesterday was spent laughing with Shoes' family.  Celebrating a sister who felt well enough after Stage 4 Cancer Treatment to come out for dinner.  Celebrating a family gracious enough to cook the entire meal.  Celebrating two little boys (ages 7 and 5) who are starting to play together beautifully and entertain themselves.  (This year, they discovered they loved yams.  And couldn't figure out why we were giving them "candy potatoes".)  Celebrating that I have an extended family so supremely loving that we talked about wedding planning and chaos for the perfect amount of time yesterday.  (Thankful I am "drowning" in their support and well wishes.)

So today, this is my message of gratitude:

"I thank my God always on your behalf." -- 1 Corinthians 1:4.

So thankful for those closest to me right now.

And today, I am working feverishly on a term paper in (a partially sunny??) Seattle while Shoes naps blissfully.  I am surrounded by articles, books and handouts.  I am about to head to the coffee shop for my 2nd cup of coffee.  I will also complete my internship self-evaluation by the end of the day and will think carefully about my performance with my clients, my clinician co workers, and my learning experiences on the mezzo and macro levels.  (I didn't tell you this, but through internship I attended a very interesting roundtable discussion on my agency's finances with the Chief Financial Officer.  I was thoroughly intimidated.  And in a move completely foreign to my nature, I talked up a storm.  And then I received an email from the head of HR asking me to consider sticking around after graduation.) 

I can't shake the busy-ness.  That's not going to change for a good long while.
And I am beginning to fill my cup back up again.  Beginning to remember my skills as a therapist and social advocate.  Remembering my 4.0 graduate GPA has not come without good cause.  Remembering that I know how to sit and be with human beings.  Remembering that people can only know how to support as far as I have the gumption and wisdom to tell them.

That was a scary four weeks of extreme exhaustion empty, lonely, tapped out.

Glad to be back on the loving side of things.

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